Tech Blog

[#1]

By this point, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen has made more money than Lindsey Lohan did for attending her own birthday party.

And I weep for the future of the film industry.

I'm not sure I've ever seen a film that seemed to delight in insulting its viewers' intelligence more.* 

Folks, this movie is so bad, the Jackson family is trying to change the name of MJ's 4^th album just to make sure there's no connection.  It's so misogynistic it made Chris Brown want to beat himself up.  It's so racist Jesse Helms came back from the dead just so that he could walk out of the film in disgust.**

And you knew it would be like that going in, since every single review of the movie told you all of those things and more.  This movie is currently at a 20% percent positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  To put things into perspective, that means that more professional critics would recommend that you spend your money on the recent epic Dance Flick  than this steaming pile of garbage*** - and that movie was written by 5 different Wayans Brothers.  (Most doctors agree than anything over 3 is dangerous to long term mental stability.)

And you didn't care. Not one bit. 

I have a blog.  So do you.  So does everybody and their mother.  Well, maybe not my mother since when I forwarded her the link to my new blog she didn't even realize she could get past my profile picture to read the blog itself.  Apparently, she assumed that since she has a picture of me on her nightstand, it's perfectly understandable that the only reason that Future Shop would put it on their site is so that millions of other Canadians would want to do so as well. 

The problem with everybody sharing their opinions all the time on blogs, or social networking sites, is that no one's opinion matters anymore.  

I talked about this movie with numerous people whom I normally consider fairly intelligent moviegoers and here's how most of those conversations went:

Me: I saw Transformers.

Not me: Really? How was it?

Me: Bad. It was so bad that Tyler Perry made a movie right afterwards about how much he hated it called "Tyler Perry Presents: Tyler Perry Complains About Transformers For Two Hours" by Tyler Perry.  It was so bad that I went and spent 12 years getting a doctorate in physics right afterward just so that I could invent a time machine and go back to a time where I had never seen the film.  It was so bad that I injected myself with Swine Flu halfway through it in hope that I would die before the end of the movie.****

Not me: That bad, huh? I'm still going to see it though.

Me: Why? All the reviews are awful, and mine is witty with a biting yet charming tone.

Not me: You expect too much from these types of movies. I just want to turn my brain off when I go to see these things.

Folks, the problem with turning your brain off when you watch movies is that pretty soon the filmmakers and movie studios are going to think it's ok to follow suit when they make them.   

It's entirely possible to make big, exciting, and successful adventure films that don't insult the intelligence of their viewers.  The fine folk sat Paramount, the studio that made Transformers, have done it several times recently.  Pixar does it once or twice a year.  Warner Bros. does it with its Harry Potter franchise, as well as films such as Dark Knight.  There are also plenty of small budget films that are being made all the time that are totally worth your time and money.

I know that I sound like the grumpy old man who complains that movies aren't like they used to be.  But in this depressed economy, movie studios are taking fewer and fewer risks with the films they choose to green light.  So if you tell them with your dollars that all you wantis mindless, bone shattering action and that you don't need any thought put into the movies you view, then that's exactly what you're going to get.

But don't come crawling to me, when you realize that that's ALL you're going to get.

*, **, ***, **** It's entirely probable that I'm exaggerating how bad this movie is for comedic purposes and to prove a point.  However, since at this moment my good friends at Paramount are probably sending the racist twin robots from Transformers to my house to "put a cap in my a##", let me tell you that if you want to see a well written, intelligent, action packed adventure film this summer, go see Star Trek.   

Message Edited by TimR on 07-05-2009 02:30 PM

Message Edited by Laura on 08-21-2009 02:30 PM

[#2]

Okay, what is everyone's problem regarding this movie?  I caught it on a matinee on opening day.  Sure, it was an incoherent string of explosions and wild CGI effects, but it was flippin entertaining!  Not every great movie has to move you to tears and provide a groundbreaking revelation on the meaning of life.

[#3]

I agree... I haven't seen Transformers, and don't particularly care to for the exact reasons stated above.

There is nothing wrong with going to watch a movie which doesn't require brain power to watch it (I love those movies), but there also is nothing wrong with going to watch a movie which doesn't require brain power to watch it while still having a decent story line and decent acting.

Lately, it's just too over the top and the level of acting just doesn't match what it should for major (competitor) movies.  Rather than relying so heavily on special effects, why don't we rely on real acting again.

[#4]

Chris, your attitude demonstrates Tim's point: Hollywood has no incentive to make movies that "move you to tears" as long as people are satisfied with ones that are merely "an incoherent string of explosions and wild CGI effects."  Now, you're quite correct in that not every movie needs to be cathartic and profound.  But every movie should be entertaining because it's a good story and not just because it's got incoherent CGI.

It's possible to make movies that are thematically insubstantial while still having good stories.  Will Ferrell is good at this--I don't like all of his movies, but many of them manage to be both offensive and intelligent at the same time, which is a fine line to walk.  And Monty Python has managed to produce an entire TV series and several movies predicated on the notion that incoherent strings of special effects can only be enhanced by wonderfully bizarre storytelling.  There's no excuse for being lazy.

Now, one can have one's cake and eat it too.  Theoretically, if one downloads the movie online, then the movie studio doesn't get a cut.  One isn't voting with one's pocket, yet one still gets to watch the movie.  So in an ironic way, pirate cinema may save cinema if it doesn't kill it first....  However, as I don't download movies, I'm left with the other practical option: wait until it comes on television (PayTV, like The Movie Network, not broadcast television).  Then dump it on my DVR for three weeks until I get around to watching it, at which point in time we'll be up to Transformers 7: Mostly Shots of Megan Fox with a Couple of Fight Scenes Between a Toaster and a Car That's Actually a Product Placement.

[#5]

I'm really on the fence with Transformers.  I saw the first one and thought it was all visuals with little substance.  Revenge of the Fallen seems to be more of the same.  I do really enjoy CGI heavy movies for the pure visual feast, but admittedly I don't feel like support Michael Bay's disaster of a story sequel. Perhaps I'll just wait for it to appear on rental shelves.

[#6]

Yes I saw the movie. Yes I agree with the TimR.

I will however write this in defense of those like me that went to the movie even after reading all the terrible reviews.

1. Although extremely dumbed down, it still had less hackneyed plot holes that "Star Trek" and used less shakey-cam, and less lens flare.

2. It had better special effects, and I cared for the characters more in this movie, than a movie like "Terminator: Salvation".

3. No self respecting screen writer that could write an Oscar(TM) worthy script is going to touch a movie about giant transforming robots based on a 1980's toy line.  So where will I get my giant robot battle scenes unless from Michael Bay?

4. I went to see "Ice Age" for Scrat. Not Manny, or Sid, or Diego. Scrat! I saw "Ice Age" because I wanted to laugh at the antics of that dumb squirrel.  I went to "Transformers: RoTF" for much the same reason. To laugh at how bad the movie is, and watch giant transforming robots beat each other up, it is very cathartic.

5. The racism of "Transformers: RoTF" is yours and yours alone. If you saw racism, it is because you brought it to the table. You, not the movie. They are robots for crying out loud. Not people. If you see race in a pile of metal and cgi. That is all you. Personally I found Jar-Jar Binks in the "Star Wars" movies to be much more offensive.( Look-up the film history of the Sambo if you want to see what I'm saying.) At least in this movie the twins you are talking about are likeable heroes.

Look. Really great movies are great because they are rare. If all movies were of the level of "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy, we'd find something else to complain about. Even the great authors of our time, no matter how prolific, are lucky if they produce just one or two really influential books.

  Don't get your panties in a bunch because there are bad movies. Look back over history and you'll see, the vast majority of movies are bad. Really! Thousands of movies are released every year, and only a few get to be hits. Of those hits only a few will be great. and of those greats, only a few get to enter the lexicon of film language. 

  Nothing is going to change because a bad movie made it to number 1 for a couple of weeks.  Bad movies will be, and always have been made because they are easy. The great movies are made despite the Hollywood system, not because of it.

[#7]

I just saw it today.  All I can say is that Michael Bay knows how to create the perfect summer flick.  He knows his audience and he knows his aubject matter, and has crafted a piece to fit exactly what that audience is looking for.  And he clearly succeeds.  There was a lot of absolute garbage dialogue, and I didn't particularly care for a couple of the newly-introduced characters, but in terms of getting what I wanted out of it - awesome CGI and huge transforming robots battling each other - I left that theatre with a glowing smile.  As far as I'm concerned, a Transformers movie done any other way would not be as effective. 

[#8]

All I'll say is that if you want to see good movies, check out the ones coming from other countries.  I've seen some Brazilian movies in the past year that have been brutally honest and full of action, but they've been absolutely amazing.  Why?  Because they had real story lines.  Nothing necessarily complicated, but something you could follow, and when they threw twists at you, it worked with the story line and enhanced it.  The actors were also amazing.  They come across as doing the job because they love it, not because they're making millions of dollars doing it.

Other good places for movies?  Seen some great Spanish ones, a few really good war related movies out of Israel, a really good one out of the former Yugoslavia, and a couple of weird but incredibly interesting ones from Germany.  If you want to watch really good movies, try checking out the foreign movie section in your local movie rental store. 

Once you see these movies, you'll see movies in a whole different light.

[#9]

I'd add Italy to that list as well, Krypto. 

Being a film student, I've had the oppurtunity to screen many films from around the world, and I definitely agree with you about the quality of foreign cinema.

[#10]

Actually, I'm looking forward to Moon. Smart, Sci-Fi, what more could you want? Unless it's giant robots

[#11]

@bgrier, LOL!!!

[#12]

@lilwingman, thanks, I haven't actually seen any from Italy recently, so that might be good for our next one!

[#13]

Thanks for all the great comments, suggestions, and differing opinions folks. There are fantastic films from all over the world, including lots of films from Canada and the US like Pontypool or Moon (bgrier, it's definitely going on my best films of the year list), and I'll be hopefully discussing lots of them in future blogs. 

[#14]

I just tried to picture a Transformers movie where there was a plot and decent acting and not so CGI heavy - I had a vision of men wearing robot suits made out of cardboard boxes.

This movie was made for a certain demographic - the people who made it have no concern with how important the Transformers franchise might be to some of us. I have many objections to how they butchered Soundwave. This movie was made to appeal to people who want to see the explosions and they will go in droves. And we will wait for a more obscure animated Transformers film to appear.